Lost Leaders
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When life and work don’t go as planned, sometimes under challenging and confronting circumstances, there can be a painful sense of being unable to find the way. Rather than staying lost or being stuck in ‘not knowing’ or making mental mistakes about the future, look for that breakthrough.
SETTING THE SCENE
“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”- Henry David Thoreau
“When virtue is lost, benevolence appears, when benevolence is lost right conduct appears, when right conduct is lost, expedience appears. Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth; it is the beginning of disorder.”- Lao Tzu
“We differ, blind and seeing, one from another, not in our senses, but in the use we make of them, in the imagination and courage with which we seek wisdom beyond the senses.” - Helen Keller
“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” - Leonard Cohen
“We lost because we told ourselves we lost.”- Leo Tolstoy
Questions to consider
What happens when life and work don’t go as planned, sometimes under challenging and confronting circumstances?
Why do we unconsciously re-enact our personal past in our professional present - even when it holds us back?
What are the mental mistakes we make in thinking about the future?
What are the best ways to embrace "not knowing" rather than fearing it?
How can you counter ‘situational blindness’ in decision-making?
Can you optimise your life, overcoming obstacles, and reaching your full potential?
What if there was a proven plan to get unstuck and break through?
What can we do, starting now, to make our future years a time of happiness, purpose, and success?
Happy reading and stay curious!
Here is more information about this selection of books.
When Leaders are Lost: Moving Beyond Disappointment, Failure, and Hurt to Redefine Success (Jemlar, July 2023) by Glenn Williams. What happens when life and work don’t go as planned, sometimes under challenging and confronting circumstances? There can be a gap between what leadership is and how it is experienced by the ‘leader’. The reality of “lostness” for leaders exists. While our experience of working and chasing our dreams may differ considerably from what we imagined, how do we keep sight of our goals and not give up on them when disappointment, failure, and hurt hit us head-on? Our identity and sense of value often hang tenuously in the balance by the thread of success or failure. How should you respond?
From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life (Portfolio, February 2022) by Arthur C Brooks. Drawing on social science, philosophy, biography, theology, and eastern wisdom, as well as dozens of interviews with everyday men and women, Brooks shows us that true life success is well within our reach. By refocusing on certain priorities and habits that anyone can learn, such as deep wisdom, detachment from empty rewards, connection and service to others, and spiritual progress, we can set ourselves up for increased happiness. Many of us assume that the more successful we are, the less susceptible we become to the sense of professional and social irrelevance that often accompanies aging. But the truth is, the greater our achievements and our attachment to them, the more we notice our decline, and the more painful it is when it occurs. What can we do, starting now, to make our older years a time of happiness, purpose, and yes, success?
Your Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today (Little, Brown Spark, June 2023) by Hal Hershfield. Based on over a decade of groundbreaking research this book explains that in our minds, our future selves often look like strangers. Many of us view the future as incredibly distant, making us more likely to opt for immediate gratification that disregards our health and well-being in the years to come. People who are able to connect with their future selves, however, are better able to balance living for today and planning for tomorrow. It describes the mental mistakes we make in thinking about the future and gives us practical advice for imagining our best future so we can make that vision a reality.
Not Knowing: The Art of Turning Uncertainty into Opportunity (LID Publishing, December 2016) by Steven D'Souza and Diana Renner. Knowledge and expertise are highly valued in today's business world. These values are introduced at an early age by our education system, and at work, we are assessed based on what we know, on having the answers and solutions. Our need for certainty, to know what's going on, to have all the answers, exerts strong pressure in our lives. This award-winning book offers an alternative, contrarian approach to dealing with such pressures and to embrace "not knowing" rather than fearing it. The authors argue it is by "not knowing" that we in fact develop an exploratory mindset, and we discover, engage and create new ways to deal with business and management problems and issues. The book is supported by stories of individuals and the positive change they made in their lives through "not knowing." Solving new problems with old ways of thinking are no longer useful in the new world.
The Man Who Mistook His Job for His Life: How to Thrive at Work by Leaving Your Emotional Baggage Behind (Virgin Digital, August 2021) by Naomi Shragai. You probably don't realise this, but every working day you replay and re-enact conflicts, dynamics and relationships from your past. Many of us spend eighteen formative years or more living with family and building our personality; but most of us also spend fifty years - or 90,000 hours - in the workplace. With the pull of the familial so strong, we unconsciously re-enact our personal past in our professional present - even when it holds us back. Through intimate stories, fascinating insights and provocative questions that tackle the issues that cause us most problems - from imposter syndrome and fear of conflict to perfectionism and anxiety - business psychotherapist Naomi Shragai will transform how you think about yourself and your working life. Based on thirty years of expertise and practice, Shragai will show you that what is holding you back is within your gift to change - and the first step is to realise how you, like the rest of the people you work with, habitually confuse your professional present with your personal past.
Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to get unstuck and unlock your potential (Heligo Books, May 2023) by Adam Alter. A guide to optimising your life, overcoming obstacles, and reaching your full potential. All of us go through episodes of simply being stuck, whether we're trapped in a thankless job, wrestling writer's block, muddling through a midlife crisis, or fixing a fraying friendship. The resulting malaise is often chronic, dangerous to our mental health, and with severe consequences to our success and development. What if there was a proven plan to get unstuck and break through? Offers a new framework for not only getting unstuck but also going on to flourish and introduces us to the Friction Audit - a test to work out where our sticking points lie between our Head, Heart and Habits - and then he takes us on a roadmap to break through.
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